Goku's Sexy Jutsu
by Hattori Sei
Summary: Goku's been missing for five years and comes back with at least one trick up his sleeve! The Oiroke no Jutsu! What will happen? Slight Yaoi


Disclaimer: Naruto and DBZ do not belong to me

Disclaimer: Naruto and DBZ do not belong to me. However, Hitomi and Kiku both belong to me, along with the nameless drunken man.

"Speech"

'**Thought**'

It was a fine day as a young man wearing an orange and navy uniform and metal headband across his forehead said goodbye to his friends in the village of Konoha. "Come on, why do you have to leave?" asked a certain pink-haired girl.

"Come on Sakura, you knew that I was going to leave from the first time we met. You can't be getting all mad at me now." the man replied.

"We all know that Goku, but why do you have to leave now? I mean, you just became a chuunin, and we still need to go get Sasuke-teme." said another young man in orange and navy, only this one had sun-kissed blond hair while the other one, Goku, had pitch black hair.

"Now Naruto, I have told you this time and time again. Just as you have Sasuke-kun, I have Vegeta-teme. And with your help over these past few years, I believe that I will finally be able to get him the same way you hope to get Sasuke. No, in the way that you WILL get Sasuke." Goku replied.

"Oh, I get it Goku-kun, but can't you just wait a little while longer? Just until I get my Sasuke-teme back?" came the response from Naruto.

"Naruto no baka!" said Sakura, hitting Naruto upside the head. "Goku-san needs to go back home, don't you think. I bet his friends miss him. Right, Goku-san?"

"Well, yeah. So, bye everyone!" he said to Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, Kurenai-sensei, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji (who, believe it or not, had actually lost some weight in the past few years, thanks to Goku and his eating habits), Asuma-sensei, Tenten, Neji, Rock Lee, Gai-sensei, Iruka-sensei, the Ero-Sannin, and Granny Tsunade as he flew off into the clouds.

'**You know, I never got him to explain how he does that,**' thought Naruto.

-Meanwhile, in West City-

It was an ordinary day in the Briefs household. Mr. Briefs was tinkering away in his workshop, Mrs. Briefs was in the kitchen baking something or another, Buruma Briefs was yelling, and the Briefs' permanent houseguest was in the gravity chamber get yelled at by Buruma. "By kami Vegeta, when are you gonna quit sulking! It's been 5 years! You need to get over the fact that Goku is gone! I know you're the last saiyajin left, but that doesn't mean you have to be the saiyajin ever! You need to find someone out there for you and get over him!" That was, of course, Buruma ranting on and on.

"Fine, woman, just get out of my face!" yelled Prince Vegeta as he turned the gravity from 200x Earth's gravity down to normal. From there he stormed up to the 'guest' bedroom that had been his for the past five years, ever since... the accident. He had never meant for Kakarot to be caught between the two blasts. And the worst part was that they had never found his body.

Vegeta quickly showered, threw on some clothes, and went into town. It was there that Goku spotted him as he was flying above the city. '**He, I can have some fun sooner than I expected,**' he thought. He quickly flew down into an alley and lowered his power level so that Vegeta wouldn't sense his ki/chakra. After doing so, he quickly made some hand signs.

"Oiroke no jutsu!" Up went a plume of smoke all around him. When the smoke cleared, there in his place was a woman with beautiful onyx eyes, long flowing black hair than went down to the middle of her back, D-cup breasts, and a quite nimble figure. The only shocking part was that she had a monkey tail!

"Dang it, I still can't stop that from coming out when I transform! Oh well, that'll probably help me with winning over Vegeta-teme, seeing how he's always trying to rebuild the Saiyajin race. Oh, well." From her pack, she pulled out a lace bra, lace panties, a long orange dress with slits along the side and a hole in the back and a pair of high-heeled orange pumps. She then proceeded to put them on. Right after she finished putting them on however, a voice broke out inside the alley.

"Ah, now come on babe, can't you at least take the dress back off?" asked a dirty man at the mouth of the alley. He was carrying a bottle of sake and the woman could tell that he was quite drunk, so in order to prevent a fight, she ran towards him and nimbly hopped over him.

"Bu-bye now." she called as she ran down the street. All at once she spotted a man walking down the street with spiky jet black hair and black eyes. '**Vegeta,**' she thought as she was running toward him. Upon seeing her, he stood as if paralyzed.

"H-H-Hitomi?" he stuttered.

"Hm, are you talking to me? Sorry, my name's not Hitomi, it's Kiku. I was just on my way to Capsule Corporation and I got kinda lost." Kiku said, sheepishly.

"Really? Why, I live there! I can show you the way." said Vegeta, still shocked about how much this girl looked like his dead sister Hitomi. As his eyes traveled down her body (NOT THAT WAY, YOU PERVS!), noticing the similarities, his eyes stopped right above her legs. Was it? Could it be? It was. A TAIL! A Saiyajin tail at that.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, how is it that you have a tail?" he asked as they were walking.

"Oh, this? I was born with it. I'm an orphan you know? I never knew my parents, so I don't know if they had tails, either. It a little weird, huh?"

"No, not at all. I'm used to seeing weird stuff like that. Oh, I'm Vegeta by the way." 'Damn**, this woman reminds me of Kakarot. Why can't I get him out of my head?**'

"Hi Vegeta, my name's..."

"Kiku, I know, you've already told me."

"Oh, really? I'm sorry. So why do you live at Capsule Corp.? I know Buruma-chan doesn't have a brother, at least not one as cute as you."

Vegeta blushed at this remark. No one had ever called him cute. "Well, it's a long story. You see, I'm sorta friends with her friend Son Goku..."

"Ooh, Son Goku. I heard he was the champion of the Tenkaichi Budokai for a couple of years. But I bet you could beat him."

"Yeah, he was the champion, but that was before I moved here, so I don't really know much about it. And about me beating him, I'd love to fight with him again, but sadly, he died five years ago. I've been staying with Buruma since then."

"Hey, we're here!" Kiku squealed, jumping up and down. "Thanks Vegeta, it was nice meeting you!" She then proceeded to run up the walkway and ran into the mansion. Once inside, Kiku found her way to Buruma's room and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" came a sing-song voice from the other side of the door.

"An old friend."

"Okay, then come on in." Kiku turned the knob and walked in the room. Inside it was a mess. Buruma came out of the bathroom wrapped in a robe and drying her blue hair with a white towel. Noticing Kiku, she said, "Hm, who are you? You aren't an old friend."

"Well, maybe you just don't recognize me like this. But I must warn you not to scream at what I'm about to do." She formed a sign with her hands and said, "Kai." A puff of smoke went up around her and when it cleared, in her place stood a Goku in female clothes.

"Oh, my. I guess I should change, huh?" He quickly changed into his orange gi and sat on Buruma's bed. "Well then, do you recognize me now?" But his words were lost, seeing as how the blue-haired girl had fainted. Goku pulled her onto the bed, filled his hand with healing chakra and woke her up.

"Kami, Goku, how are you still alive? We thought for certain that you had disintegrated. What have you been doing for the past five years?"

"Nah, you know I always make it out of those kinds of things all right. And for the past five years I have been learning how to harness my chakra and use it for several different types of jutsus. I have also become a second rank shinobi, a journeyman shinobi."

"Um, Goku, is there something wrong with you? You're talking way more sophisticated than before."

"Yes, Buruma, that is because I have learned a lot in the five years that I've been gone, and in that time I have recovered many things, including all of my past memories as a Saiyajin baby. I am now a proper Saiyajin, even though I am still the same old Goku." He ended this statement with a huge old grin, but that grin quickly turned to shock. "Uh, oh, I gotta hurry, Vegeta is coming. Sorry." He said as he rushed into the bathroom with his pack. He quickly changed and emerged.

"Why hello, Vegeta-kun. What brings you up here?"

"Um, nothing Kiku-chan, I just thought I was hearing voices from the past up here. So anyway, gotta go."

"Wait Vegeta-kun. Can you come here? I want to ask you a personal question." Vegeta came in and sat on the bed, but at the same time, Buruma got up and left them alone.

"Okay, what is it, Kiku-chan?"

"Well, I was just wondering, if you had liked Son Goku. I mean, I know you were friends, but did you feel something more?" She anxiously awaited his answer.

"The answer is...yes."

Kiku was so excited that she forgot to hold onto her transformation, but it fell away and Vegeta was suddenly face-to-face with the person he loved most in the world...Goku.

"What?, Goku-dobe! How? What? Huh? Aargh!" He let loose an attack, but it was just playful. He broke down crying, which showed that he had actually cared for Goku. Goku just sat there with Vegeta's head on his lap, just happy that they were finally together. Goku silently swore to never let anything happen to his Vegeta-teme and Vegeta swore to let nobody take his Goku-dobe and at the same time, in a different dimension, Naruto also swore to let no harm come to his Sasuke-teme and Sasuke swore to let no one have his Naruto-dobe.

Yeah, know it's crappy, but it was freaking 1:00 in the morning, I had been reading sexy jutsu fanfics all day, and a thought popped into my head. 'What if Goku learned that and used it to get Vegeta? What would happen?" and thus this story was born in 1.25 hours. Reviews are welcome and I don't care about flames, but I will respond with retorts.


End file.
